I've had this blog a long time but I've never posted. I intended it to be a log of all the poignant moments I had with my son as he grew and the musings I had as a Mother so that he would be able to know me better as he grew. The problem was, none of my thoughts seemed good enough. They weren't entertaining or uplifting enough to pass my own scrutiny of what a blog like this should contain. I didn't know then that it didn't really matter. I don't have to write novels or be perfect. He doesn't love me because I'm literary or a good cook or a fantastic crafter such as what I see and compare myself to on other blogs. He loves me because I'm Mum.
It turns out that "Mum" isn't perfect. She's human and fallible, with dreams, fears, hopes and doubts all of her own. And so now my goal for this blog is no longer to make it the sort of blog that people will come in their hordes to read. Perhaps no one will at all. And that's okay now. My goal is to simply be authentic, both to the good and the bad. To be brave and vulnerable, so Benji someday knows that I wasn't just "Mum", I was also human and fragile.
And I love him very much.
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